WHY??????????????

A lot of questions about my life I have.Am I doing what I do because i believe in it,because others think I should,because everyone is doing it?What is the reason behind my waking up in the morning,getting out of bed and going to work?Is it because it's my sister's business,is it because i need the money,is it because i don't have anything else to do so it keeps me busy?Do I enjoy it?Why am I with him?Is it because i like him or perhaps love him or well,probably I will grow to love him?Is it because he is sweet,is it because all my friends are dating,is it because I am scared of being alone,Is it because I'm scared of somehow losing out on something,is it because I don't want to be the one to regret?Why do i still have her as my friend?Is it because I'm scared she may go and tell the whole world about me,is it because I'm not ready for the whole process of opening up to a new person?I s it because...Why do I want to go to college?Is it because I'm going to learn more about that which brings me satisfaction?Is it because society expects me to?Is it for social status?Why do I drink and smoke and sleep around?Is it because I'm looking for acceptance?Is it because I don't believe I am all that by myself,hence I need some help for me to face the world?Is it because I am rebelling against my parents?Am I trying to prove a point?To who exactly?So,why do I go to church?Is it because I believe in doing so?Is it just an act of obedience to God?Is it because I enjoy being in church?Could it its because I get to see him there?Is it another place for me to get to meet knew people?Why do I want that car and not this one?Why do I want to live and not there?Why do i feel the need to dress in designer wear?Why can't I do that job but this one is ok?Could it be I'm afraid people will see the job I do and pass me,the individual?

The list could be endless.I'm just at this point in life where I want to know why I do the things I do and feel what I feel and...I just want to know the why behind every action of mine.Why,I think it will make me more responsible and aware.It will let me know if I am being true to myself or if I'm just moving with the masses.Because you see,I don't want to be on my deathbed with tears in my eyes,mourning the life I could have but did not live because I just followed the masses.I want to be at my deathbed and smile at a life well lived.See,all the people we strive so hard to please now that we are alive won't be the ones we will have to face when we are just about to breathe our last,it shall be that person you see,every time you look in the mirror.So what now,am I trying to say that we are not to live for God but ourselves?far from it because what God wants for you,if you take time to think about it and be honest you will realize,is exactly what you want for yourself!
God knows your strengths and weaknesses.He is very familiar with your dreams because He created you and with those desires as well.If anything,He has the blue print so that when you feel lost,you can go back to Him and found out what the next step is supposed to be.

All these emotions courtesy of Robin Sharma and his book,Discover your Destiny and the small fight my sister and I had this morning.Got me thinking,which got me writing.take time and ask yourselves these questions and be honest with yourself,if nothing else,at least you owe yourself some honesty.Find out the reason behind the things you do daily,those that have become a habit,you don't even think about them before doing them.Ask yourself why and search deep inside for the answers.As Robin says,there is a place called the Choice point.That after you have sought the truth and found it,you got to decide whether you will continue in your old ways or if you will be courageous enough to follow the truth.And what is the truth?

The truth is that most of us live our lives to please everyone else but ourselves.Truth is,if we were brave enough to be ready to walk alone,we wouldn't be doing the career we are doing,we wouldn't be dressing or talking the way we do,we wouldn't be going to some of the places we got to,we wouldn't be in that relationship where we are not appreciated,we wouldn't be a lot of things that we are today.If only we had the courage to stand up to some of these people,some of these beliefs.If only we were courageous enough,we would be enjoying our every day life like no ones business.We would take a walk in the rain and enjoy it.We would not have the perfect hair but still walk confidently.We would not own such and such but still look like we own the world because we would just not care what that other person thinks or says.We would be freed from all the masks we wear every morning as we go out to meet the world.

I can almost picture myself.Doing that which I wanna without thinking of whether you will accept me or not.To know that I am beautiful and awesome and handsome and amazing just as I am.To know I am all that by myself.That God did not create junk but someone with a purpose and a reason and that this world needs me to be a complete puzzle,that is until my time is done.Can you take a second and imagine the kind of life you would have if you did not have all the cares you have?

Well,let me stop here and think about that world.Imagine it for myself and decide which side I will be leaning on or should I say living on.Let's catch up.One love.