Just Be.....

Today,my friend is getting married.I am not going for his wedding though coz i got to work!now,i feel like i am dying a slow death.Feels like I am getting suffocated only I don't know by what?State of hopelessness.I try to look for answers but all I get are more questions...I wanna break down and cry,like properly cry but I can't.I'm at work and I don't want to have to explain my tears.Can't we at times just see someone cry and let them be believing that if they need our help they will probably ask for it?ok,my moods are all over the place.I wanna cry and not have to explain why.I wanna let the rain fall on me without anyone bringing me an umbrella or asking me if im ok.I just wanna get soaked!I want to take a long walk to nowhere in particular,barefoot if possible and just walk.I would love to be at a swing with a friend on the next swing,just swinging slowly with no exchange of words.I just wanna be.no words,no sounds,no music,nothing.just to be.can i get that?