I got this title from poetry spot of All Saints Cathedral.It is an amazing topic I believe because we have all been hurt.Some we have let go of,others,we still old onto lest we forget what was done to us and fall in the same trap again.Now,I have become a quite poor writer,a week can go by without a meeting between my pen and my journal.Not good at all.Not even healthy but I am changing.I will make it my goal to write something every single day so God help me please.
Here I am once again
At your graveside yet again
How many years has it been?
I lost track of counting
It has been a while though
I now I'm almost getting married
I am engaged actually
To my prince charming
He is imperfectly perfect for me
Someone actually loves me
Not for anything more than who I am
It's funny though
You always made me feel incomplete
Like there was something I was missing
You treated me so badly,
I didn't know what it was
To be treated like royalty
That's how he makes me feel
Beautiful and precious
The very things you robbed me off.
When I met him,
I didn't give him attention
He was one of your species
I cared less
Yet,no matter how cold I was
He seemed to get warmer
I couldn't understand why
He later told me it was my eyes
He saw something in them.
I went and looked at my eyes
I stared at the mirror for such a long time
I didn't see anything
I pushed him away
But gently he stayed on
He was a puzzle to me
You made me believe
I could interest none.
But you were wrong
And I'm so glad you were
I accepted one of his many date invitations
No,I wasn't going to listen to him
He was going to leave me alone that day
We met and I didn't even smile
It wouldn't make a difference.
I ordered a drink and I pressed play
I was giving him reasons why
He should forget me and move on
I told him
You don't want me
You don't even like me
Your mind is just playing tricks on you
I am worthless and ugly
I have never been beautiful
I once felt it
But someone I trusted
Told me I wasn't
You don't want a life with me
A life with half a woman
You see,I'm no virgin
My innocence was stolen years ago
I'm just an empty person
With frozen feelings
My own father abused me
Over and over
And my mother could do nothing
She too was a victim
I am angry and wounded
And I hate your type
Paul did it
I'll die single.
I'm sure you laughed at that
When I spoke
It made you feel good
That though you were gone
I still was your prisoner.
I cried so much
I hadn't meant to
But I did
Seated on a table at a classy restaurant
I wept like a baby
And I couldn't stop
And I couldn't walk away
I felt weak on my knees
I sat there,buried my face in my hands
I wept the more.
He sat there in silence
Passing me one napkin after the next
I don't know how many centuries it was
But I finally stopped
I looked up into his eyes
I couldn't speak
We stared into each others eyes
For what seemed like an eternity
Before we left the restaurant
No words spoken
He dropped me home
And off to bed I went.
That was the beginning of my
Happily ever after
To cut the long story short
He has loved me faithfully
Like the kiss that brought back color
To snow white's pale skin
His love has nursed me to wholeness
He introduced me to Jesus
The one I blamed for all my woes
And He has transformed me
He has given me beauty for ashes dad
I can't believe I just called you 'dad'
My life is now beautiful
With God at the throne of my life
And he by my side
I couldn't ask for more
It has been a long while
I didn't attend your funeral you know
I thought I'd actually burst out laughing
And maybe blub about your actions
You were a respectable member of the society
I walk down the aisle in a month's time
I needed to close this chapter
To start the next one well
So dad,I forgive you
I let you go
You didn't know better
Or maybe that's just
My consolation
I carried flowers for you
I actually wish you were here
To walk me down the aisle
The love of God has filled my heart
Love is all I can do.
You hurt me...real bad
But today,
I let you go.
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